Valentine’s Day is upon us, but don’t panic if you’re single, as an Ottawa dating coach has some tips for you to find that person you’ve been looking for, whether in person or online.
The most important thing is to put yourself out there, of course, after understanding who you are and what you’re looking for, Laura Bilotta from Dating in the City told CTV Morning Live on Friday.
“Every time you walk out that door is an opportunity to meet someone,” she said. “You just need to get out.”
Bilotta says you never know who you are going to meet when you step out of your comfort zone, noting the importance of smiling at people and being approachable.
“Make sure that you feel good before you walk out of that door,” she said.
She suggests joining dating events in your city and going to the gym to meet more people.
When it comes to online dating, she suggests using a very good picture that shows who you really are, and that isn’t more than six months old. Though it might sound superficial, she says, the photo has a stronger impact on the other person than the biography on the dating app.
“Make sure that you have a really good photo, because people aren’t going to even read your bio unless you have really good photos,” she said.
“Just be honest.”
What do you do if you have been ghosted?
You’ve dodged a bullet if you’ve been ghosted, according to Bilotta. She says you shouldn’t blame yourself after being ghosted, as you might not be the problem, necessarily.
“Generally, when you’re being ghosted, that’s a reflection of who that person is, rather than who you are as a person,” Bilotta said.
She says you should stop messaging the person who had potentially ghosted you, noting that your messages are not going to change their decision about you.
And since being ghosted can be hurtful, Bilotta suggests allowing yourself to cry it out or talking to your friends about it.
“Surround yourself with good, positive people and do things that are going to lift you up,” Bilotta added. “Go to the gym. Go for that long walk.”
She also suggests taking some time to yourself and doing some self reflection before getting back out there and meeting the next person.
What do you do if you’re not having any luck on dating apps?
Dating can be exhausting, especially on dating apps, she says. And when this happens, Bilotta suggests taking a break, stepping back and checking your profile.
She suggests hiring a professional to read your profile and give advice about your pictures before going back on dating apps.
Online dating should not become your full-time job, as that can also wear you out, she says.
“I encourage people to get out there and meet people in real life,” she said. “So, there are so many people out there who are not on dating apps, wanting to meet you.”
